Tuesday, November 6, 2012

The Birth Story *TMI warning*

Thursday the 18th of October I woke up pretty sore. My whole body ached and I was having a lot of cramping. I told Brandon I thought that things were starting to move along and that my face looked different; I could swear there was something in my face that just looked different, I could see it and feel it.  So shortly after breakfast I went to the bathroom as usual only that this time I found out that I was losing my plug, I found bloody show and the cramping was constant. Armed with all this new information we decided it was best to call the office and find out what they wanted me to do, I was pretty hesitant to do this because I had my scheduled 39 weeks appointment the next day so I thought I could wait, but I was too uncomfortable to ignore it.  Just as I thought they had me come in. The Dr. told me that because I wasn’t officially 39 weeks there wasn’t much he could do in order to speed things up, I think he was talking about induction, which wasn’t really my plan so I was ok with that. Then he asked me if I wanted him to check my cervix; it turns out I was 2cm dilated and 80% effaced, then he asked me if I wanted him to strip my membranes, which I had been researching the night before so I told him to go for it and to my surprise it was not painful at all! I had read from a bunch of women how horrible it was to have this done and that it wasn’t worth it so I was a little hesitant to have it done but I am so glad I didn’t go by all those opinions…It did feel strange and a bit uncomfortable but not painful. After that little procedure the Dr. told me that it could cause me to go into labor that same night or not until the following week, because it only works if your body is ready. I didn’t think much of it because in the back of my mind I kept wanting to wait until my mom got here on the 23rd so she could be at the birth but also, since I was so uncomfortable I didn’t care if I had him later that night.
 So we went home; we had the car fully packed in case they would have sent us to the hospital; and we made plans to go to Carrabba’s for dinner that night.
I continued to work on a paper that was due the next day and soon realized that I wasn’t feeling so great, so I told Brandon to pass on our dinner plans, and as the day went by my cramping continued and started to slowly increase. Then I completely passed my mucus plug and began timing the contractions, which turned out to be pretty closed together. There I was, trying to write my paper in between contractions, and waiting because I was afraid they would send me back home for lack of progress.
Well, right around midnight and after a glorious shower that felt wonderful over my aching body we decided it was time to go to the hospital, my contraction were coming every 3-4 mins and they were pretty painful by this point.
We rolled into the hospital and I was crying from the pain (and fear) as the escort wheeled me into the maternity building. They checked me out to see where I was, turns out I was 5cm dilated and 100% effaced. They asked me if I was having pain medication and I said yes ASAP! The only problem was that right about that time, there was a C-section taking place and the anesthesiologist wouldn’t be available for a bit.
They took me to my room (I requested room 12) and they hooked up all the monitors and IV’s on me. They had steady monitoring of the baby, the contractions and me. Brandon was with me the entire time and was very supportive. But the pain was getting worse and the Dr. was still in the OR and I was losing it. I have never felt pain like that, and I never thought I would have to because I always knew I wanted to have an epidural. The contractions began to take over my body and they were coming at a furious rate. I was shaking, nauseous and about to pass out, as every one of the contractions came stronger than the previous one. I felt helpless, I was terrified that I was going to miss the window for the epidural because I knew there was no way I could continue to feel that pain and be able to push through it when the time came.  While I waited for the Dr. and to get my bag of fluids in they had me go to the bathroom (before I lost all feeling in my lower half) it was horrible, the pain was so intense, I could barely walk. On my way back to the bed I was having a pretty strong contraction and I was holding on to Brandon when I felt this warm liquid make its way down my legs…yep that was my water, it had broken all on its own. I told the nurse and she said not to worry about it and to hurry and make it to the bed. Once I was back in bed all tucked in and full of pain I felt and “heard” this POP and again a bunch of fluid came rushing out of me; my water had broken again?? Turns out that a lot of the times the baby’s head works as a plug if your standing up, so when my water broke the first time Landon’s head plugged it back up but not for too long J. Well, in a way a was happy my body was so ready to have this baby, it had been going through every stage like a pro but after the water incident the contractions got even worse (I didn’t think that was possible) and still no Dr. in sight.
I began to sob, I begged for the Dr. to get in the room, I screamed and demanded the drug!!! I felt so bad… I really didn’t want to be “that” patient but I couldn’t help myself, I couldn’t look at Brandon, I didn’t want him to see me like that; I wanted him to help me to get me out of the pain, I was so sad and scared…until they finally got the ok to give me some kind of drug to take the edge off and as soon as that kicked in I wasn’t so scared anymore. I still felt the contractions, but I was somewhat detached from them. It was so strange, I was high and drunk at the same time and when the Dr. showed up to give me the epidural I swear I wanted to hug him. The relief was amazing…I was so happy and still drunk from the other drug so when they left me there to progress I was one happy lady.

I took a little nap and woke up to the room being all set up for a delivery. The nurses were amazing, they kept me informed of everything and they taught me everything I would need to do. They asked me if I wanted the baby placed on my skin right after he is born to which I said yes and I asked If I could actually grab and pull my baby onto my chest. The midwife told me that I could as long as everything was going according to plan and Brandon would cut the cord. The nurse and midwife started to monitor my contractions and told me I should start pushing soon, they checked me one more time to see my progress and to their surprise they could already see the baby’s head! So I started pushing. The pushing felt weird, I had no idea if I was doing it right but they were telling me I was doing a great job. I pushed for 17 minutes and at 8:06 am I was grabbing my little baby boy and placing him on my chest. I couldn’t believe it! I cried and laughed, it seemed so unreal…I was so happy. I still can’t believe I made such a perfect little baby, and I miss him. I miss him in my belly but it is so good to finally meet him and see his face and know his little voice and smell. I am so happy for this, I never thought I would be a mom and I have my husband to thank for this. I love my little Landon I can’t live without him.  

the day before...

a lot has happened in the last 2 weeks...
on october 17th, I told Brandon I wanted to take a few more pictures with "the belly" since I had a feeling it wouldn't be around much longer, so we got ready and did our tripod little session at gay city park. I was very uncomfortable throughout the whole ordeal but I thought it had to do with me being 2 days from week 39.

little did I know I would be holding my baby in the next 48 hrs...

are we there yet??

oh boy...38 weeks on Friday and I feel like my belly is going to burst!
I have been feeling pretty good considering that I only have 2 weeks to my due date. I am still going to school, waddling my way thru campus, I get lots of stares and I have gotten used to it, sometimes the stares are accompanied by a smile and I forget that strangers are smiling at me because of my bump...
I have been pretty confident that the little man will be on-time. Even though I wouldn't mind him to be early, I couldn't imagine going thru the whole birth thing without my mom. She is flying in on the 23 (3 days before the DD) so I am hoping the little man will decide to start the revolution the 23 late at night.
In the mean time I have to prepare and get as much school work done as I can, because I have a feeling the days following the birth are going to be pretty crazy.
My mom will be staying with until the 17 so I am way excited to have her all to myself, this will be her first time coming out here to CT.
Brandon and I are very excited, our bags are packed and we are pretty confident that we've got everything we might need for at least the first few weeks.

I haven't been feeling like exercising much lately and it kills me because I know I could benefit from it, but I am so tired and usually out of breath that I just go with the lazy option...I did get some elliptical time on Monday and I hope to get on it tomorrow too!

Heartburn has been horrible...if the wives tales are true our little guy might come out with a full mane judging by all my heartburn. He is also most active at night, he thinks it's pretty cool to tap dance on my ribs and diaphragm...

We have a name but it is top secret, we've had it since we found out we were pregnant.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

44 days

44 days to baby! this is what my period tracker home screen says and it melts my heart:)

My little nephew, Marco, was born last Friday afternoon and I am so happy for his parents!! he is so cute, his cheeks are to die for! and I am obsessed with looking at his pictures. His arrival was much awaited by all of us and now that he's here Brandon and I can't wait for own little one to make his appearance and show his cute little self to us.

told you he's freaking cute!

I'll be 34 weeks this Friday (in 2 days) and we also have our check up that day, the baby has been very active lately and I know he's running out room quickly, sitting in class is almost impossible without rearranging myself 100 times with no comfort in sight.
Needless to say, it is very difficult to even recognize myself anymore, my reflection scares me every time and I wonder if I'll ever feel like myself again and how that is going to feel, and it makes me sad...

NOT SO MUCH HERE or here ,

but right HERE!
31 weeks

almost 34 weeks
he is a growing boy!! But I hope he doesn't grow that much more :)

Thursday, September 6, 2012

the home strech

so we are finally in the 3rd trimester...and just like I had read some of the old discomforts of the 1st trimester have returned, including fatigue, heart burn, headaches, nausea, etc. I thought for sure I would be the exception since my whole pregnancy has been so mild and I was feeling pretty much like my old self during the 2nd trimester but no.... The symptoms are back.
I had a migraine for  72 hrs in right at the beginning of the 3rd trimester, which has been the trend throughout my pregnancy. But I am still so happy it didn't happen in UT...
Our time in UT was amazing, we had plans to do a few things we have been working on for so long and that finally became a reality and we were so happy that our friends and family were able to be with us and share our joy. I got to spend some much needed quality time with my mom and Brandon went off on many mountain biking adventures. we were only there for a a week but we enjoyed it to the max.
one of my favorite things of the trip was being around my friends and my mom; I loved hearing my mom tell me how pretty she thinks I look pregnant and having my dad wanting to feel my belly every time he saw me. I miss that so much!!! For my entire pregnancy no one has told me that I look good or that a particular outfit  looks cute (excluding my nice friends on FB, who have all been so sweet). Don't get me wrong, I am not an insecure person and I am used to jealousy and envy from other females (sadly that's how it usually is with some women...) so I don't usually expect compliments from people, not even my husband who assumes compliments are not necessary because I "must" know that I look good...(sad, I know)
But being pregnant is a little different, I'd love to hear from other people (specially the ones that are supposed to be supportive) that I look cute or that an outfit looks good. Im not expecting lies, I feel that I still look pretty ok, but it's sad when your body is so different and you feel so awkward in whatever you're wearing, that a little compliment would not hurt, it would actually do wonders. I have always been the type of girl who can appreciate when another girl looks good and I will not hesitate to compliment her but from now on I will make sure that I compliment any pregnant woman  just because they deserve it.
**Im pretty sure that 80% of these feelings are being triggered by out of control hormones but right now this is how a feel.

 I have a bunch of baby stuff to talk about, but that is coming up in a different post. here are some pictures from UT and some other randomness.

we hiked the Y in Provo. Not bad for 28 weeks???

we went to Brandon's cousin's wedding

this was one of my best purchases: one piece swimsuit from ON (not maternity!!!)

I still managed to ride my bike

we had a little photo shoot :)